Randolf the Red Nosed Reindeer
by betawho
Summary: Santa's lost one of his reindeer, the Doctor must help to get it back.


"How are we going to get him down?" River asked, craning her head to look up into the rafters of the Tardis hold.

"I've already turned up the gravity as far as I dare, he just seems to be immune," the Doctor said, from the control panel beside the open door.

The stocky, white haired man behind them sighed. "Offer him chocolates," he said, with a put upon sigh.

River turned to him, "What?"

"Chocolates," he repeated, scratching the back of his head, abashed. "I got him hooked on them when he was a calf."

The Doctor clapped in delight and clattered off down the corridor.

"You feed your reindeer chocolate?" River asked.

The man shrugged, he was a burly individual, dressed in a blousy silky white shirt and blue suspenders with gold embroidery on them. "His mother rejected him because of the nose, we had to bottle feed him and one thing led to another."

River grinned so hard her face hurt, but she pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, trying to hide it.

"And I take it he's not broken to harness yet?" she asked, trying desperately to keep her voice steady, and not break down laughing.

The man's wide face flushed bright red under his neat beard. "It seemed like a good idea, with the weather and all. It's not like we needed him to _see _by, we've got GPS for that."

River pressed her hand over her mouth and snorted, her eyes twinkling at him mercilessly over her hand. "So if we hadn't found you in the fog..?" she squeaked.

He scuffed a shiny black boot on the floor. "One of my brothers would have found us. They were all out doing their rounds too."

River snorted a laugh.

"I got it!" The Doctor came bounding back, waving a box of chocolates. "Here you go, Nick." He handed the blue garbed man the box of chocolates and went to stand by the door controls.

"On three," Nick said. The Doctor nodded.

"Randolf! Come down here right now!" the man yelled, rattling the box of chocolates, papers rustling.

The reindeer swooped down and landed lightly in front of the door. He was still only half grown, not quite as tall as their hips yet. He had little velvet horns just beginning to branch off, and a biofluorescent red nose.

He stuck that glowing nose in the box of candy.

Nick grabbed him by the cheek strap. "One, two, three!" He clicked off a control on the high tech, full body harness the deer was wearing. The Doctor slapped his controls at the same time and the little reindeer did a comical little bounce as the two gravity fields normalized.

The young deer pulled his face out of the now empty box and looked up at River with big brown eyes, flirting long lashes at her. His snuffled his warm velvet nose in her hand, looking for more treats. She laughed.

"Yes, he's quite the flirt," Nick said.

The Doctor laughed. "They have that in common then."

River gave him a superior sniff.

The Doctor grinned, and scratched the little deer between his horns. It looked up at him adoringly. "Isn't genetic engineering wonderful?!" the Doctor enthused. He cupped the little reindeer's face in his hands and kissed his glowing red nose.

The burly man petted the little deer fondly. "We've engineered one of his line every generation since the family business left Earth," he said, ruffling the young deer's twitching ears. The little reindeer gamboled in place, almost floating on his own, setting his harness bells jingling.

The Doctor grinned and examined the broken harness clips with his long fingers. "Yes, I think we can repair these easily enough. Come on, Nick, let me show you _my _workshop!"

—

Outside in the snow the Doctor and Nick hooked the little reindeer back up to the sleigh, carefully checking the clips and buckles to make sure he wouldn't break away again.

"Nick!" two deep voices bellowed from the other side of the Tardis. River turned in the moonlight to see two big burly men dash around the Tardis, they both had white hair and beards of different lengths.

"You found him!" they said, both rushing up to the little reindeer and making much of him, petting, cooing and making stern little lecturing noises as they examined the small deer and checked his harness for themselves.

"The Doctor found him," Nick said. "It's a good thing he heard my distress call. They were able to trace him and materialize the Tardis around him."

"Doctor!" Both men turned and River realized all three brothers were dressed identically in fur trimmed coats and black boots, one in blue, one in green, one in red. "Thank you. It's good to see you again!" the one in green said, smiling.

"You must come to the pole for our wrap party tomorrow!" The one in red said, standing up. He dusted off his gloves, apparently satisfied with the harness work.

"Sorry to be in such a rush," the one in red said, apparently the oldest. "But we've got a schedule to keep." He nodded significantly to his brothers. He and the green suited one slapped their brother on the back and left.

Nick climbed into his sleigh. He settled himself and pulled on his blue velvet hat. The Doctor sighed in envy at the shiny hat and fuzzy pom pom. "I can't thank you enough for rescuing Randy, I don't know what we'd have done if anything had happened to him," Nick said.

He slapped his reins and sleigh bells rang. All nine reindeer perked up and started gamboling, bouncing, rising up. The sleigh lifted off the ground. River and the Doctor stepped back.

Nick waved a mitten. "See you at the pole at dawn!"

More sleigh bells rang behind the Tardis and River and the Doctor turned just in time to see two more sleighs rise into the air. Twenty-five reindeer pawed the sky, and all three sleighs, one red, one green, one blue, flashed away in three different directions.

A faint shower of sharp shining ice crystals sprinkled down on them, stinging lightly against their cheeks.

The air quieted, only the shimmer of the aurora and the blue glow of the iridescently ringed moon shone down on them in the night, stars twinkled silently as the wind softly sang.

"I love Christmas," the Doctor said with a happy sigh.

He suddenly grinned manically. "Randolf the Red Nosed Reindeer," he said with glee. He took a deep breath.

River gave him a bright eyed glare. "Don't you even dare," she said.

He stifled his urge to sing. Then leaned forward and kissed her on the nose.

His breath was frosty in the freezing air. He grinned. "River the red nosed time wife..." he sang.

"_Oh!_ You..!" River swatted him on the arm and chased the giggling Doctor into the Tardis.

The Tardis dematerialized to a pealing laugh, the light blinking red.

—

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